I lived a nomadic lifestyle, moving throughout the United States with my parents and brothers as my father helped establish architectural computer software programs for several different companies.  Moving so much gave me the opportunity to explore different sides of myself.  One place I would be the studious nerd, hair parted down the middle.  Another location, I would be the flirty girl, new and fun, wearing dresses always.  It was an adventure in itself, but it made me want to explore human character in my grown-up life.  So when I got my acceptance to NYU in my final year of high school I jumped at the chance to study acting in the greatest city on earth.

Within a year it became clear that a college degree in acting, for me, was just a safety net.  A built in “backup plan” so that when I failed as an actress I would be qualified to teach.  Not what I was looking for.  My parents had taught me well to embrace adventure, so I did and quit NYU and studied at several private acting studios in NYC including Stella Adler and The Acting Studio (Meisner technique).  I did theatre and student films, the occasional non-union industrial.  I worked as a nanny, a waitress, and a receptionist in a commercial production company.  There I met my filmmaking partner of 10 years, Todd Morris.

We bonded over our common desire to rise above the small stuff we’d been involved in and do something crazy, something big that could change our lives forever.  Be careful what you wish for, right?  Two things came of this.  First was that I began dancing in the famed Billy”s Topless.  It was a nice place, simple.  There were no table dances or hustle for a champagne room.  It was a straightforward half hour on stage, half hour off, hourly pay plus tips.  I wore a curly wig my first three months, horrified at the prospect of anyone I knew ever “catching” me.  Worrying so much about what others thought got boring, and incredibly uncomfortable with the wig, so I ditched the wig and embraced the freedom and money I’d found in the new lifestyle.  Most of the guys were nice but there was the occasional horrific jerk that would just make me so angry I would feel my body ready to turn inside out and spew acid, hopefully melting the offender.  So came the second part which grew out of the dancing, the birth of my first feature film A GUN FOR JENNIFER.  I wrote the first draft of the script in the bathroom at Billy’s in between sets and then Todd Morris helped make it into something he was more into directing.

So with the script for a feminist revenge thriller in hand and the desire flaming in our bellies, we tried to figure out how to raise the cash to make the film.  The answer came one evening when a short, sweet guy who said he believed in me and my talents outside of a strip club listened to my dream to make JENNIFER.  He said he worked for a huge company looking to invest in film.  He was a loan officer.  One week later I left work with a check for $10,000 as a deposit on the making of the film.   Todd and I were over the moon.  Six months later most of the film was shot, on 16mm color stock.  The investor had been acting more and more strange.  He came to us one night and said he was actually an accountant, had embezzled all the money, and that he had to leave town instantly….oh, and a detective would be coming to talk to us.   We were devastated.

Sure enough, the detective came, we testified at the District Attorney’s office, we were sued, our accounts were frozen, it was a horror.  But we were innocent and all the charges were dropped and finally we made a deal with the company the ACCOUNTANT had worked for to finish the film, on our own.  I went back to the strip club world, something I’d been ok with for the couple years of getting JENNIFER off the ground, but when we made the movie and I thought I would not be going back to that nighttime world, I was thrilled.  So it was a crushing blow on every level to go back to the world of going to bed at 5am, when most people get up.  With the burden of finishing funds of a film hanging over my head, I just worked as a stripper to pay and pay and pay for the movie while Todd edited and I did not do any theatre or audition.  It was a dark time.

Finally the movie was finished.  It was received really well all over the world playing in film festivals from Vancouver to South Africa, Finland and France….27 festivals in all.  Plus it had a very successful theatrical distribution in France, playing in the arthouses of Action Gitanes.   Festivals outside of the US fly the filmmakers to the festival and put you up in hotels and wine and dine you, so the festival blitz we did helped smooth over some of the wounds we had from the mess we’d been through.

Another movie was made with Todd Morris in 2000, MOLOTOV SAMBA.  But the agony we’d suffered with JENNIFER and the toll the dancing took on our relationship broke us up in August of 2001.  One month later, staying at my friend’s house (who later became my husband) 9/11 happened and everything in the universe turned upside down.  No longer did it matter what movies I might make, what projects I was now free to audition for, all that mattered was love and appreciating it at every turn.  And my future husband Dean and I did just that, getting engaged, married, and having a baby boy within a year of 9/11.  It was followed by the birth of my daughter when my son was 17 months old.  Yes, we were eating up love and life.

But 9/11 lingered in my psyche and with the inspiration that came of a fantasy that I slipped into another reality where it never happened, my film IN-BETWEEN came to life.  It is a supernatural drama with a 9/11 theme.  The only film I have ever directed, or ever wanted to direct, but just had to get it made to get it out of my mind.  We shot it on digital with very little money, $10,000, with amazing actors, and my kids in tow.  It was the best indie film experience I ever had.

So after that it became obvious that while I love making films, it is sometimes fun to return to the “original plan”.    I turned to just acting.  So easy, by comparison.  I didn’t have to worry about schedules or budgets or the egos of other actors.  I could just show up, do my thing, and go home.  How simple.  It has served me well for a couple of years.

But old habits do die hard and I am at the verge of making a couple of films as a producer/writer/actress.  It is so exciting to be so involved again.  My babies are a little bigger.  My life is a little less psychotic.  So now I need to stir things up.  Of course.

I love acting and will always be available for the right projects, no matter how big or small, but my true love is in creating my own amazing adventure and destiny and so here I am with great people, great scripts, great actors, looking for some amazing directors.